


Gay Natasha Oneshots

by Gayformarvel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Gay, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-06-15 20:46:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15421254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gayformarvel/pseuds/Gayformarvel
Summary: Natasha has issues and none of these one-shots are connected in any way.1 - Wanda/Nat2 - Maria/Nat





	1. Shot down (Nat/Wanda)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, its kinda sad. sry not sry.

We were in the middle of clearing out a small HYDRA base deep in the interior, when I felt it. Something was wrong, I just had this feeling that I could not put my finger on. It was like a faint pain, deep in my abdomen. I still remember the feeling when Pietro was shot, the sharp pain of multiple bullets slicing through his flesh. I knew that he was gone before anyone could tell me. The link we shared was shattered, gone like it never existed. When I feel connected to someone so deeply, I’m always in touch with their emotions, even when I’m far away. That’s why I stopped suddenly, desperately glancing around, trying to locate Natasha. I could sense she was struggling, that she was in an immense amount of pain.

“Wanda!” I heard Steve yell from outside the base, near the entrance.

I took off quickly in their direction, dread filling my body as I could hear Steve struggling to fight off the last of the soldiers. As soon as I was close enough, I released enough red power on all of the remaining soldiers, completely knocking them out and flinging them across the ground into the trees. Steve grunted as he fell to his knees, exhausted from fighting them all alone. Natasha was supposed to be with him, they planned to be fighting together.

“Steve, where is she?” I asked desperately, looking around the ground in search for her.

As he sucked in air, he pointed to the back of the compound, where Natasha was sat up against the concrete wall, clutching her stomach. I ran over as fast as I could, dropping to my knees as I clutched her shoulder gently. She glanced up at me startled, wincing in pain as she tried to sit more upright against the wall.

“Nat, where are you hit? Let me see,” I quickly said, gently moving her back off the wall so I could pull her suit off to find the injury.

She grimaced, releasing her hands from her stomach which were now dirty with blood. I tried to be as carful as possible, but I needed to get a look at the wound quickly to know how bad it is. I hastily pulled the front zipper down to her waist and got her out of the top half of her suit with a small struggle, her hands automatically clutching back at her stomach once she was freed from the tight material.

“Wanda—Gasp—it hurts… My stomach…” she groaned as I gently pried her hands away from her stomach, seeing her dark grey tank top underneath stained deep red in fresh blood with a bullet hole in her stomach. 

I cupped her face, placing a quick kiss on her sweaty fore head, telling her it would be ok. She was in bad shape, the bullet had torn straight through her suit, and clean through her abdomen, just left of her belly button. She weakly gripped my red jacket as I pulled her tank top up, revealing her pale skin with a bullet hole still gushing blood. Steve quickly approached behind me after making sure we were protected and safe, ripping the top half of his suit open and pulling off his shirt to use to pack the wound. Natasha’s eyebrows fused together in pain, turning her head to the side to bite her lip as Steve held it tight to her stomach, trying to stop the blood.

I took over holding pressure from Steve as more men approached from the other side of the base, brushing her hair away from her pained face as Steve took off to deal with them. Her eyes locked with mine as tears made their way down my face, I couldn’t lose her. I can’t be left here all alone again, not when I had just found my happiness with her. She smiled weakly at me, gripping my jacket harder to pull me closer.

“Hey, don’t worry, ill be ok…  You’ll see,” she sputtered, clenching her eyes closed for a second as more pain wracked through her body.

“Nat, baby, don’t close your eyes. You are going to stay awake ok? I know you’re tired, but you have to stay awake,” I pleaded as I pulled her close into my body, cradling her head on my chest as I held the shirt tight to the wound.

Not knowing what to do, I quickly grabbed the phone that Tony had given me, sending out an emergency help signal and within seconds, Tony’s voice rang through the phone. I quickly put it on speaker and let the phone drop to the ground beside us so I could keep her sitting upright. 

“Wanda? Listen to me, Steve told me the situation. You need to keep her safe and keep pressure on the wound, I’m only a couple minutes away. I have a medical team with me, I promise you that Nat will be ok,” Tony told her quickly as he flew the jet to their location, armed with an entire medical team. “Nat, how are we doing? Talk to me.” he said, trying to keep his voice calm and comforting.

Natasha groaned against my chest, lifting her tired head speak to Tony.

“I’m alright, I’ve been better,” she croaked out, her voice sounding strained.

“Good, were on our way, stay awake and don’t die alright?” Tony said, sounding sincere, not like his usual witty self.

Natasha glanced up at me and let out a hoarse chuckle, but coughing after, “Are going soft on me old man? *cough* come on... I know you’ve seen worse,” she said to Tony, only hearing a scoff in return.

There was blood in her mouth now, dripping down her chin when she coughed, trying to catch her breath. 

“Believe it or not Romanoff, but I actually like you, so I’d rather you not die,” Tony chuckled into the phone affectionately, but his voice was laced with worry.

Natasha hummed against my chest, nuzzling her cheek against my collarbone. I pulled her body fully onto my lap, draping her legs over my lap as I clutched her shaking body against mine. She let me take all her weight, leaning fully against me.

“Nat, you’re going to be ok, I promise. When we get home, we can finally watch that stupid show you wanted to, and were going to order pizza with pineapple and extra cheese, just how you like it,” I murmur into her ear, feeling tears cascade down my cheeks again. “You’re going to be ok, just like you always are.”

I felt her nod against my chest as her arms gripped around my waist very loosely. Her breathing was short and rapid as she struggled to keep her grip on me.

“You’re always so good to me… What did I ever do to deserve a girl like you?” she murmured weakly, muffled in against my chest.

I clutched her even tighter as I prayed for Tony to come faster. I could feel her slipping away. She was right here in my arms, but her mind was starting to fade as her pain took over. She had maybe minutes left if Tony didn’t hurry. Dread filled my entire body with the thought of losing Natasha. She was everything to me.

“Nat, baby you deserve everything. And I’m going to give you everything I promise you,” I murmured into her ear so softly, holding her close as her grip around my waist fell loose. “I promise...” I cried, hugging her against me. 

I sobbed, my body shaking as I felt her go slack in my grip. I heard shouting in the distance, but I didn’t dare look up as I clutched my love into my chest, feeling nothing but agonizing sorrow as she faded. No... No! This wasn’t fair! She was all I had left! 

“Nat! Please Nat! I love you, please don’t leave me…” I sobbed as I felt the light in her soul leave, severing her connection with life while she laid in my arms. Her head lulled back, red messy hair dangling  as I gripped the back of her neck, pulling her back into my chest. 

I pulled back to look at her face, hastily whipping the tears out of my eyes. Her eyes were closed and her jaw was slack, no sign of life in her body anymore. Dirt covered her face, blood smeared over her lips and chin. My heart felt like it was torn to shreds all over again, as I held my lover’s limp body in my lap, my hands covered in Natasha’s blood. 

“Wanda, you have to let go!” Tony’s voice rang through my head as arms gripped me, pulling my numb body away from Natasha’s.

I stumbled backwards, crumbling onto my knees as sobs ripped through my chest, my heart aching to hear her voice one more time. To feel her touch on my skin, to feel her lips against mine. I begged to a god that I don’t even believe in to have her make those stupid jokes again. What I would give to wake up next to her again as she snored softly, her face squished into the pillow as she slept without a care in the world. Natasha was gone, and I felt empty without her. 

People dressed in white surrounded her, yelling medical things that I didn’t care about. She was gone. That’s all I cared about. Everything was a blur now, voicing around me sounding like they were underwater. When I looked back up at the scene, they had ripped her shirt off, paddles ready to shock her placed on her chest. I felt like everything was moving in slow motion. With a crack of electricity, her body lurched up, every muscle in her body tensing.

I felt it, just barely. I felt her soul flicker, the presence of her mind come back for that split second as they shocked her, then it faded, leaving her home again. I was too numb to even move at this point, watching in horror as they did everything they could to bring her back. 

“I felt her, she was back for a second,” I croaked, desperately looking at Tony. A light seemed to go off in his head, glancing back and forth between Natasha and the shock paddles. 

His watery eyes locked with mine, he knew that this was her last chance, her only hope. Quickly, he shoved the person holding the paddles away, grabbing them and cranking them all the way up. He took a deep breath before glancing back up at me, tears streaking down his face.

 “Clear!” He yelled, the loud thud of the shock making me gasp, holding back another sob. 

Her body tensed up again, her back arching painfully into the air, but this time she took a gasping breath, wheezing as her body eased back onto the ground. I felt her, she was back. I scrambled to my feet to get beside her, relief filling my body as she was breathing again. Her eyes were hazy and confused, but she was alive. Dropping to my knees, I reached out to grasp her hand. I never let it go as the people around me worked on Natasha, packing the wound and hanging blood to replace what she had lost.

Her eyes began to focus now, finally getting a grip back on reality. Her head lulled to the side, locking her beautiful green eyes with mine. I felt her hand squeeze mine back ever so slightly, the action reassuring me more than words could.

The flight back home was long and brutal, with Natasha fading in and out of consciousness, but at least her vitals remained table. Steve was beside me the whole ride home, his presence comforting me a little as doctors cut into my girlfriend’s body in just the other room of the helicarrier, trying to reverse the damage of the bullet wound.

 

 

 

 

 

Two weeks later

  

I sat down on the couch beside Natasha, carful not to wake her. The TV was still on, quietly playing that show she convinced me to watch with her in the background. Her gunshot had given everyone a real scare, including me. All the Avengers had already taken turns dropping by to visit her, showering her in gifts and comfort food. It took me almost a week to get a nights sleep after that emotional day. The image of her dying was still so clear in my mind, the feeling of her mind slipping away from her body haunted my dreams. It felt so much like how Pietro had died, taking me back to memories I so desperately try to keep away. I didn’t need to think like that anymore though, she was safe at home with me now.

I felt her shift, snuggling deeper into the pillow she was wrapped around under the fuzzy Captain America blanket Steve had gotten her to lift her spirits about a week ago. Her stomach was healing, wrapped tightly and bandaged. She would be just fine, but that didn’t stop Natasha from complaining about not being allowed back in the field for a minimum of three months. She was able to move around a little on her own, but she couldn’t walk around much without help. She was being stubborn, refusing help and wanting to do everything herself. What made it even harder, was her refusal to use the wheel chair. “Wheel chairs are for wimps,” is what she had quipped after I had caught her literally crawling across the floor to use the bathroom late last night.

I smiled as moved to slide inbetween the couch and Natasha, lifting the blanket to slide under it and wrap my arms very gently around her waist. She snorted a little, before waking up enough to realize that I was snuggled behind her.

“Good morning sleepy head,” I cooed into the warm back of her neck where I had tucked my face into.

She let out an appreciative sound and snuggled backwards into me, her body flush against mine.

“Hi,” she rasped out, her voice laced with sleep.

I lifted my hand to gently sooth up and down her bare arms, lulling her back into her sleepy state.

“How are you feeling baby?” I whispered.

“I’m good, just tired,” she murmured.

I moved my grip back to her waist, very carefully pulling her back into me, making us a close as possible. She grasped my arms that held her protectively, sighing contently into the pillow.

“Go back to sleep my love, I’ll be right here when you wake up,” I said, placing a soft kiss of her exposed neck.

“I love you my маленькая ведьма,” she said sleepily, before drifting back to a peaceful sleep.

My heart felt warm at the nickname. I loved it when she spoke to me in Russian. Even before we started our relationship, she would always call me this, but I never knew what it meant until I finally asked her when we started dating. I remember it so clearly, the memory making me smile.

 

 

 

 _We were curled up in bed after a particularly demanding mission when she said, “Goodnight my_ _маленькая ведьма,” then closing her eyes. Curious as ever, I rolled over on top of her, staring down at her with a smile._

_She opened her eyes to gaze back up at me with a smile just as big as mine, bringing her hand up to lovingly stoke my cheek._

_“What does it mean?” I murmured, my lips just grazing her nose._

_She shifted to gently grip my face with both hands, her thumbs stroking my cheekbones softly. She pulled me down, guiding us into a searing kiss, our lips moving in sink as we kissed slowly, but with so much emotion. When she pulled back, I was breathless. She leaned up to kiss my nose and then guided my head down to lie on her chest as our legs entangled, shifting myself to lie almost completely on top of her. She ran a hand through my wavy brown hair, letting her nails gently scratch against my scalp._

_“It’s Russian for Little Witch,” she finally whispered, smirking into my hair._

_I smiled against her neck, feeling so loved and cared for._

_“I love it when you call me that,” I murmured into her neck so softly it was almost impossible to hear, but Natasha hears everything._

_She wrapped her arms around my waist tightly, placing a soft kiss on my cheek as she settled back onto the pillow, drifting to sleep. I nuzzled further into her neck and began to fall asleep as well, happy and safe._

“I love you too Nat,” I sighed happily, even though I could tell she had already fallen back asleep.


	2. Falling to Peices (Nat/Maria)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angisty

Natasha took another long swing of the bottle clutched tightly between her shaking fingers. She was propped up against the bathroom wall of her lonely apartment, still clad in her skin tight black field suit. The shower had been running hot for a while, filling the bathroom with a thick cloud of steam. She shuddered as the liquid burned her throat, long past the point of tipsy by now. There was blood smeared on the floor under her from the slash wounds she couldn’t be bothered to patch up. They weren’t life threatening, at least she didn’t think so. The Vodka was helping numb everything around her at this point. She let her head fall back to hit against the wall with a loud thump. She clenched her eyes shut, feeling the throbbing pain of her headache radiate down her neck. She wasn’t sure if it was from the large amount of alcohol she had just consumed, or the blow she took to the face during the mission. Another wave of nausea coursed through her body violently. She clenched her teeth together, willing herself not to throw up. She sucked in a shaky breath, hoping the feeling would pass. Her nose wasn’t broken, at least she through it wasn’t, but the blood had finally stopped pouring down her face, leaving her mouth and nose stained red where she had tried to wipe it off. Her suit was dirty and torn, blood staining the ripped clothing across her stomach and right thigh. She wouldn’t cry though, she can’t remember the last time even felt the urge to.

 

_“Tears are for the weak Natalia,” he said as he pressed the blade to her upper arm, daring her to let another tear drop down her bruised cheek. She didn’t let any more tears fall, not that he cared anyway. His breath was awful, right in front of her face. So close to her face that she could feel his facial hair scratch against her cheek as the knife pressed harder against her skin. It stung as blood dripped down her arm, the blade slicing through her flesh easily._

She shook her head, trying to get that memory out of her thoughts. She grasped her right upper arm, letting her fingers run over the raised skin of the scar. She can never control the flashbacks. They always leave her panicked, stuck in a dark place that she can’t pull herself out of. She glanced at the running shower, thinking that maybe she should get in it now. She let out a pained groan as she shifted to her side, attempting to balance herself on her knees. The bottle of vodka she was sipping is now tipped over on the floor, spilling the small remainder of the clear liquid onto the cold tile. Pain burned through her body as she shakily pulled herself upright, steadying herself with both hands on the wall. The nausea hit her like a tidal wave, making her move forward five steps to drop on her knees in front of the toilet as quick as she could, prying the lid open to empty the contents of her stomach over the rim. Her body shook as she wretched everything out, gaging after again, but nothing was left to come out. Natasha hadn’t eaten anything today anyway, the only thing in her stomach being the vodka she just drank. She gasped for air, trying to breathe before another fit of gaging came. After a couple moments, she could breathe again, feeling only slightly better with her stomach finally empty. Dropping her cheek onto the toilet seat, she wheezed to catch her breath, shuddering and squeezing her eyes closed as tight as she could. She raised her right hand to wipe her mouth with the back of it, then dropped it to wipe it against her tattered suit. Once she felt like she could stand without throwing up again, she slowly got to her feet, one hand on the wall again to balance herself.

The next challenge was getting out of that suit. She thought about just cutting it clean off to reduce the struggle, but Fury would have her ass for that. She’s been in enough shit lately, being babied by the director Maria Hill under Fury’s orders after he discovered her unconventional habits of self-destruction in her down time. That was what lead to a very risky relationship between Natasha and the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. At least this mission wasn’t assigned by Fury himself, so she should be clear of his radar for the time being. Maria wasn’t that bad either, she gave Nat her space, never asking personal questions as she pulled her drunk ass off the floor multiple times. If Fury knew the full extent of her issues, she would probably never be allowed on a field mission again. Nat had easily cleared the extensive psychological exams he put her through, using her past skills to pass all the tests with flying colors. Not even the lie detector test could faze her. Maria had kept her situation under the wraps from Fury, knowing it could end her career with S.H.I.E.L.D. for good. Natasha was thankful for that, for knowing that maybe Maria was someone she could trust. Maybe. Trust was never her strong suit after all.

With a great deal of struggling, and whimpers of pain, she had her suit stripped of her body and crumpled in a pile in the corner of her bathroom. She cringed at the thought of letting hot water run over her open wounds, but she figured that’s better than leaving them dirty and risk the chance of an infection. She limped over to the shower, sliding the glass door open and stopping to take a deep breath, before stumbling directly under the steam of scolding hot water. She cried out, grasping the wall as white hot pain screamed through her body, her wounds feeling like they were on fire. The overwhelming wave of pain caused another bout of nausea to run through her body. She keeled over, wrapping her arms tightly around her abdomen as tears pricked her eyes. She choked on air, feeling more than a little faint. Her senses started to fade, the heat making her feel woozy. Her arms flailed out as she attempted to catch herself falling backwards, landing on her ass on the shower floor, knocking the back of her head against the hard tile of the way down. She was too dazed to do anything other than lay motionless against the shower wall as hot water cascaded over her body, feeling like it was burning her skin. She willed herself to move, but was falling into an unconscious state faster than she could think. Her eyes wouldn’t open, she was so tired. A rush of cold air shocked her system, causing her to force her eyes open ever so slightly. Everything was blurry and it felt like the floor below her was spinning. She heard a voice, but it sounded far away and she couldn’t make out what they were saying. Her grip on reality slipped from her fingers as she completely blacked out, going limp on the shower floor.

 

 

20 minutes later

 

“Nat? Jesus Nat, answer the door I know your home. What are you even--”

Maria stopped, seeing the trail of blood leading to the bathroom as she opened Natasha’s apartment door with a key she had forced her to give up. Blood was dripped across the carpet of the living room, and smudged on the hardwood leading into the bathroom. Maria quickly slipped inside, closing the door behind her silently and drawing her gun. She quickly cleared the apartment for threats before coming back to the bathroom door where she heard the shower running. She gripped the bloody handle, finding it unlocked and opened it quickly, gun raised and ready for anything. When the door swung open, Maria was hit with a wall of steam as she entered the bathroom. She noticed the blood smeared all over the floor, the mostly empty bottle of vodka spilled onto the floor, and Natasha’s field suit all torn and shoved in the cover of the bathroom. She quickly looked at the shower, but the glass door was too fogged to see if anyone was inside. She heard no movement and if Natasha was inside the shower, there is no doubt she would have heard Maria enter the bathroom, probably the apartment as well.

“Nat?” Maria said cautiously. When there was no response, Maria slowly approached the shower door, gripping the handle.

“Natasha, are you in there? If you don’t respond, I’m going to open the door, ok?” Maria said loudly to be heard over the stream of water.

With no response, she pulled the door open to see Natasha lying on the floor in bloody water, completely unconscious. She was covered in scratches and bruises, the worst one on her right thigh, deep and obviously still bleeding a lot. Dropping her gun to the ground, she quickly stepped inside the shower, hastily turning the water stream off and dropping to Natasha to check her pulse.

“Nat! Nat can you hear me?” she spoke loudly and clearly, trying to get a response from the assassin as she pressed her fingers against the pulse point on her neck checking for a heartbeat. It was there, but faint. Getting no response verbal response, she dug her other hand hard into her shoulder, aggravating an already sprained shoulder and causing Natasha to groan. Maria audibly sighed in relief and she moved to wrap her arms under Natasha’s, getting into a good stance to pull her naked limp body out of the shower.

“Fucking hell Nat, what the fuck did you do,” Maria yelled out desperately as she dragged her body out of the shower and then laid her down for a second so she could readjust, wrapping her arm under her legs and back, picking her up and quickly carrying her to Natasha’s bedroom down the hall.

Natasha’s breathing was shallow and slow and her body was burning hot, all very concerning signs. Maria laid her down on the edge of the bed, then dashing to her closet to grab towels and a medical kit. Sprinting back to Natasha, Maria dumped everything on the bed beside her and began to wrap a towel tightly around Natasha’s still bleeding thigh. She kept pressure on the wound with one hand as she quickly unwrapped the stitching kit with her other. She bit down on the kit, using her teeth to help rip it open quicker and the contents spilled out onto the bed. After about one minute of hard pressure, she quickly removed the towel and began to thread the needle though Natasha’s flesh. Natasha whined again, squeezing her eyes tightly as an automatic response to the pain. Maria threw about twenty stitches as quick as she could, then covered the wound in gauze and used medical tape to secure the pads to the wound. Once she had finally stopped the bleeding, Maria calmed down and took a breath, glancing back up at Natasha’s pained face.

“Nat… what happened. You were doing so well,” Maria whispered, voice cracking at the end of her sentence.

Natasha was the only one who could do this to her. Every time she had to clean up after the woman, her heart ached. She had watched for months as she ripped herself apart, coming to Natasha’s rescue again and again. She treats herself like she doesn’t care is she dies tomorrow, living life constantly on the edge, daring death to take her. It scares the hell out of Maria. She and Natasha had never defined their relationship, but they both took care of each other at their worst. Natasha had pulled Maria through the worst time in her life, but couldn’t be bothered to care about herself one bit. Maria choked back tears as she tenderly let her hand cup Natasha’s wet face, letting her thumb stroke the flushed skin on her cheek.

Natasha’s fingers twitched, and she started taking deeper and quicker breaths, telling Maria that she was drifting back into consciousness. Her eyes fluttered, before squeezing shut again and whimpering in discomfort. Maria glanced back down at her body, scanning for any other major injuries. It was mostly just dark bruising and some cuts here and there, but they were all shallow and not life threatening. She had seen Natasha naked many times, so that didn’t faze her. Their relationship mostly consisted of comfort and sex, not a lot of talking about feelings. They never talked about feelings, mostly because Natasha refuses to even think about her past. Maria gets it, so she never pushes her. They were there for each other in ways no one else would ever understand.

Maria reached over her to grab towel to lay over her naked body, hopefully providing some comfort to the shaking shell of a woman that was lying in front of her. Natasha took a few gasping breaths before she fully regained consciousness, jerking her body to try to sit upright only to have Maria push her back down. If she moved too much, she would rip the stitches and start bleeding again.  Natasha’s eyes shifted around the room seeming panicked and wild, finally landing on Maria, who was still using quite a bit of strength to hold Natasha down onto the bed.

“Stop! Stop, your fine! It’s me Nat, its Maria!” Maria yelled at first, trying to bring Natasha back to reality, her head obviously still spinning from the amount of alcohol in her system.

She groggily grasped at the arms holding her down, whining again as she failed to try to sit up again. She was still panicked and struggling against Maria, throwing off the towel between them in the process. Her head was spinning, she still felt queasy and she wanted to scream because she felt so overwhelmed. She starting to have another panic attack, something Maria has dealt with many times late at night when Natasha wakes up from nightmares about the Red Room. Maria couldn’t calm her down no matter what she tried. Natasha was too drunk to make any sense as she yelled and struggled against Maria.

“Shit! Nat stop, you’re going to hurt yourself. Just calm do--” Maria was quickly interrupted with a sharp right hook to her jaw. Even while completely wasted, Natasha could still throw nasty right hook.”

Maria’s head snapped to the left, her jaw already sore as she opened and closed it

“Jesus… Nat can you--”

Another punch is thrown her way, but Maria leans back just in time.

“I’m sorry, shit I’m sorry,” she says quickly, doing the only thing she can think of to keep her stitches intact.

Maria completely throws herself on top of Natasha, pinning her down to the bed with her thighs wrapped tightly around Natasha’s waist, being careful to not put too much weight on her thigh. Natasha struggled again, drunkenly trying shove Maria away from her, but her arms were too weak to push her off. As Natasha scratched and clawed at her, Maria wrapped her arms around Natasha, pressing her face into the crook of her neck and holding her tight against her body. She struggled for about a minute, trying to buck Maria off and cried out in frustration when she didn’t budge. She balled her fists into Maria’s shirt, giving one final effort to shove Maria off of her. Eventually Natasha calmed down, breathing heavy and sagging back against the bed, exhausted from her useless efforts. She has tears freely running down her cheeks now, not understanding what was happening and being wasted making her delirious.

“You’re ok, I promise. It’s Maria, your safe at home. Shhhhh…. Calm down Nat, its ok,” Maria murmured into her ear to calm the red head, finally feeling her relax in her arms and going completely limp again.

Maria quickly lifted her head from Natasha’s neck to make sure she hadn’t passed out again, relieved when she met Nat’s exhausted expression with her own. Her eyes were red and puffy and she looked so small and afraid. She was obviously frustrated and confused, while feeling an immense amount of pain from getting deep stitches with no numbing. Slowly, Maria lifted her body off of her, maintaining steady eye contact with Natasha, who finally listened to Maria and stayed down on the bed. She was too emotionally and physically exhausted to do anything else. With another glance at her surroundings, Natasha was as coherent as she could be after downing almost an entire bottle of vodka.

“See, its ok. I’ve got you,” Maria rasped, gently brushing Natasha’s wet hair away from her face. She them pulled her sleeve over her hand, using it to softly wipe Natasha’s tears away from her rosy cheeks.  

Natasha closed her eyes at the touch, feeling so tired after her sudden burst of adrenalin and emotion. Maria leaned over her to gently kiss her forehead, then raised a hand to it and turned it over to check her body temperature. Natasha shuddered, her body was still dripping wet from the shower and the slight chill in the room caused little bumps to erupt all over her body. Maria noticed instantly, moving to get up to go find Natasha some dry clothing to put her into. Natasha quickly shot her hand out to grasp her wrist desperately, thinking she was leaving. Maria was jerked back, looking back to see Natasha’s panicked expression again and understood what she was thinking.

“It’s ok, I’m just going to grab you clothes. I’ll be right back, I won’t even leave the room,” Maria said gently, using her free hand to comfortingly rub the shaking hand clutching her wrist so tighly.

Natasha reluctantly let her go, watching her pad over to her closet and pick out a baggy white t-shirt and black pajama pants. She was so tired, feeling drained from the hard mission earlier and loopy from still being intoxicated. Maria returned with the clothes and placed them on the bed beside her. She turned back to Natasha and stood in front of her. Maria reached out her hands, silently asking Natasha to take them, and she did. She grasped Natasha’s hands gently, slowly pulling her into a sitting position. As Natasha sat up, she felt a head rush, getting extremely light headed and starting to droop back down a little. Maria quickly sat down beside her, wrapping a strong arm around her bare waist to steady her. Natasha dropped her head to Maria’s shoulder while she waited for the feeling to pass, hoping to god that she wouldn’t throw up again. After about a minute of deep breaths, she was able to lift head off of Maria’s shoulder and try to steady herself without Maria’s support. She let her arms drop behind her on the bed to support herself a little as she unwrapped the arm around her waist. Maria eyes her skeptically, worry evident in her expression as well.

“Are you ok? Do you want me to bring the trash can over in case?” Maria asked softly.

Natasha glanced back up at her tiredly.  

“No…” she rasped out, her voice hoarse and quiet.

Still studying her face, Maria got up off the bed and grabbed the towel Natasha had flung off during their struggle earlier. She moved to stand right in front of Natasha, using the towel to dry off the rest of her body. She was still shivering, her body visibly shaking now. Maria gently whipped all the water off of her, lifting Natasha’s arms when she needed to. Once she had fully dried off her body, she placed the towel over Natasha’s head to towel dry her hair. She softly ran the towel through red locks until her hair was only slightly damp instead of dripping wet. Maria flung the towel onto the floor behind her and grabbed the clothes, unfolding them and putting her hands inside the shirt so she could easily slide it over Natasha’s head. Natasha complied, raising her hands to help Maria put the shirt on. Grabbing the pants, she dropped down on one knee grasping Natasha’s legs. Maria slipped one leg into the black pajama pants at a time, having to lift Natasha’s butt off the bed for a second to slip them all the way up her hips. Standing up again, she moved between Natasha’s legs and raised her hands to cup Natasha’s face in them lovingly. They just stared at each other for a moment, so many things they wanted to say but didn’t know how. Tired green eyes just stared back into worried blue eyes.     

Natasha seemed skinnier than usual Maria noticed, her clothes hanging off her already smaller frame. She grimaced, wondering if Natasha drank herself into oblivion every night that she hadn’t been there to check on her. Was she eating properly anymore? She should have checked in sooner. She knew Natasha had her issues and Maria had been the one to find her after nights of drinking alone before, but this time it was different. Natasha always called her when it got bad, why didn’t she just call? She had been doing better, at least she thought so.

Natasha closed her eyes after the intense gaze, nuzzling her cheek into Maria’s hands, seeking out comfort. Maria leaned in to give her another kiss on the forehead, lingering much longer this time. Natasha sighed, the feeling of Maria’s soft lips on her skin giving her comfort. Maria was the only person in the world that made her feel like maybe she could get through all of this. She was Natasha’s light at the end of the tunnel. Natasha opened her eyes and reached up for Maria’s shirt collar, grasping onto it and pulling her towards herself. Maria understood and leaned down, cupping Natasha’s face with her right hand and leaning in to place her lips on Natasha’s quivering ones. It was so soft and loving, Maria conveying exactly how she felt through that heartfelt kiss. They rested their forehead against each other for a moment, before Maria pressed a quick kiss to the tip of her nose, Natasha smiling softly as she then felt Maria pepper her face in soft kisses.   

After accentually kissing Natasha’s entire face, Maria pulled back, bending down to slip her arms around Natasha’s body to lift her off the wet and bloody bed. Natasha wrapped her arms around Maria’s neck, burying her head into her shoulder she carried her to the living room, sitting them down on the couch with Natasha in her lap. Maria shifted them so she was lying back against the couch with Natasha laid out on top of her, her head snuggled in the nape of Maria’s neck.

Maria softly ran her hands up and down Natasha’s back, soothing her into a sleepy state. Within minutes, Natasha was fast asleep with Maria’s arms wrapped securely around her waist, feeling safe in her arms once again. Maria’s jaw still ached, but knowing Natasha was safe in her arms made her not care about the nasty bruise she will have to explain to Fury tomorrow. For now, she needs Natasha rest. When she is sober tomorrow, no more avoiding feelings. They are going to talk this out, because Maria can’t stand by and watch the woman she loves more than anything destroy herself right in front of her.  


End file.
